


Two Steps Back

by such_heights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-18
Updated: 2009-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 14:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/177959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/such_heights/pseuds/such_heights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus busies himself at the stove while Sirius looks around, a strange, tight feeling in his chest as he takes in the life that Remus has built without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Steps Back

"God, you look terrible."

It's the first coherent thing Remus has said since Sirius turned up on his doorstep, and Sirius grins. "I'll steer clear of your carpets."

"No, I didn't mean -- sorry, it's been a while since I've had a guest, I'm out of practice." Remus stares at Sirius. "Dumbledore really said you could stay? Here?"

Sirius nods, uncertain, because he can't exactly blame Remus if he decides that's a total imposition. The smile breaking out over Remus's face seems to belie that thought, however.

"Well, come in, you must be starving."

"I could eat a Hippogriff," Sirius agrees.

Remus's kitchen is small and still warm from the heat of the day. Sirius takes a chair away from the window, drawing his knees into himself in an unconscious defensive gesture. Remus busies himself at the stove while Sirius looks around, a strange, tight feeling in his chest as he takes in the life that Remus has built without him.

There are knick-knacks on the dresser amongst the plates, carved wooden statuettes from foreign locales and waving photographs - James and Lily, Remus's parents, Harry at school. Sirius hasn't had the chance to really study a photograph of James in a long time, and he's so caught up in it that he doesn't notice Remus's return to the table.

"It's a great shot, isn't it?" Remus says, nodding at James and Lily. Lily is laughing herself stupid over something off-camera, and James is looking at her adoringly. "They go a bit more formal sometimes but mostly they stay like that."

Sirius smiles as Lily brushes her hair back from her face. "Who took the photo?"

Remus bites his lip, looking worried. "You did. You don't remember?"

"No." Sirius looks down at his plate. "Story of my life these days."

"We'll have to work on that, then. Come on, eat up - it's not quite a Hippogriff, but I don't think I burnt anything too badly."

Sirius tucks into beans, toast and bacon, and it tastes fantastic - he can't remember the last time he got a home-cooked, hot meal. "You're amazing," he says around a piece of bacon.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Remus says, but he's smiling. "Come on, eat up so we can get you clean."

"Yes, Professor," Sirius sing-songs, and Remus rolls his eyes.

*

"Okay, there's more hot water if you want it. Just shout if you need anything, I'll be downstairs."

Sirius nods. "Yeah, thanks."

Remus slips out of the bathroom and Sirius disrobes - he's really going to have to get some new clothes, even magic can't hold these robes together any more. The bathwater is a little too hot and it's perfect, a salve to his aching bones. Sirius lets his head thud back against the end of the bathtub, grabbing a bar of soap and rubbing at his skin until all the mess of dirt and blood starts to wash away.

When he's as clean as he's likely to be in the foreseeable future he huddles forward as the cooling water pools around his legs and his back.

Sirius starts, and his voice is hoarse as he says, "Come in."

"Are you all right?" Remus asks, sticking his head around the door.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just --"

"No, it's okay." Remus steps inside and pulls up a stool. As he sits down, he pulls a face. "Oh hell, what happened to you?"

Remus is staring at his back and Sirius reaches over his shoulder. His fingertips brush the edges of healing scars and still-painful bruises.

"Being on the run," he says mildly. "Turns out it's quite physical, who knew?"

Remus brings his stool forward. "Let me take a look at that."

Remus starts to place his hands on Sirius, starting at his shoulders and moving slowly down. He takes his wand out and starts to murmur spells until Sirius can feel his skin start to knit itself together. He starts shaking, because no one's touched him like this, not in what might just be an eternity.

"Hey, Sirius, it's only me," Remus says, and reaches out for his arm. Sirius flinches away, reflexive and instantly regretted.

Remus holds up his hands and gets up. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Just come down whenever you're ready."

Sirius stares after Remus's retreating figure. He opens his mouth to get him to stop, but no sound comes out.

He stays frozen in indecision for a moment, then he jumps out of the bath, heedless of the water he splashes everywhere, grabs a towel and races after Remus.

Remus turns around in the hall, startled, but Sirius doesn't give him a chance to ask questions. He wraps his arm tight around Remus, his hands fisting into Remus's clothes and his face buried in Remus's neck. Remus grips his shoulders, and now Sirius really starts shaking, full-body shudders, because the feel of Remus against him is overwhelming. He breathes, inhaling Remus in, and the smell of him is like a sucker punch to all his senses. Bright memories come flooding in, and this is as familiar as air.

He can't quite believe it, but it seems he'd forgotten just how much he loves Remus. He draws back, feeling winded, and he presses a quick, fierce kiss to the corner of Remus's mouth.

Remus swallows. "Let's find you something to wear, shall we?"

*

"Well, how do I look?" Sirius asks, turning slightly in some old robes of Remus's, patched but clean.

"Very dashing," Remus tells him.

Sirius glances at his gaunt features in the mirror and laughs outright.

"You look good to me, anyway," Remus says quietly.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Sirius says before he loses his nerve. "I mean, it's been fourteen years, obviously you've moved on with your life."

"Last couple of years kind of killed that notion," Remus says.

"Oh. Right."

Remus sighs and scans the room, looking anywhere but at Sirius. "See, I've had a year. A year of knowing that you were innocent, and free, and out there somewhere." He looks back at Sirius, his eyes suddenly intense. "I really want to kiss you right now, except I feel that would be taking the most horrible advantage."

Sirius blinks. "You know, I'm not entirely bereft of my faculties just yet. Besides, I'd give you full permission to take advantage any time you like."

"Well in that case," Remus says with a laugh, and steps towards Sirius.

Remus's mouth is warm and soft, and his hand on Sirius's cheek is forgiveness and blessing tied up together. Sirius has never set foot in this house before, but with Remus against him, his heart pounding against Sirius's fingers, Sirius knows that he's come home.


End file.
